This past Sunday our pastor spoke about suffering.  It really hit home for us. We are hurting. We don't want to see our son suffer. He spoke about how God uses it as a tool to teach and change us. Suffering either leads to despair or hope. Its so much easier to feel down and sorry for ourselves when we see Luke unable to do something. We so want to be those inspirational parents that seem to make everything possible for their disabled child and always have a positive outlook. But lately its such a struggle to do that. We cried lots of tears this week. Lots of frustration. It can be so tiring trying to find things to do with Luke that make him happy. Part of it is because he hasn't been feeling good. But it will probably always be a challenge and we can either let that bring us down or persevere through it. Some days we will be down. Its hard. But I really want to have more hope filled days. Romans 5:3 says we glory in tribulations, knowing that they produce perseverance, character and then hope. And hope does not disappoint because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. I can always have hope and peace that God is with us through this. I know that Luke will be healed one day. I know that God will be glorified through us because we love Him.  And I know he loves us, like we love our children except his love is perfect. He loves Luke even more than I do.

So we are being remade. We are being healed through the hurt. And the suffering is changing us. It feels scary to really know that I don't have control. At the same time it frees me trust God with everything.

He loves watching and laughing at her.

Love the song we sang at church.

Blessed be your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be your name

Every blessing you pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say
Blessed be the name of the Lord!