This past Sunday I heard a really encouraging sermon at church. It was all about the spirit of grace. The pastor talked about how a lot of Christians don't fully live in God's freedom and grace because there is a mountain that they can't get past. The mountain is any sin or struggle that keeps coming up in their lives. We fight and fight to move the mountains out of our lives. I feel like for me right now there are several mountains, Luke's SMA of course is one. I hate it. I hate SMA. I know that God can use it and will bring good out it, but I still hate it. Only God's grace can knock that down. As Luke's mom I feel like I'm supposed to fix it and take it away, but I know this mountain can only be leveled when I let God's grace fill me and let it go. Its hard for me to let God be God, I try to carry my own burdens.

Its been so humbling for me and Jeremy to be given so much from friends and family. Its not a great feeling to be in need of help. It feels good to give. I try to think of how I can repay people or give them something in return, but I don't have the ability to do that. This is another little mountain I have to give up to God's grace. None of us can repay Jesus for his gift of salvation. Nothing we do can repay that. I've always struggled with feeling like I need to do great things to repay God, but the thing is I can't do anything good without him so when I'm good its his grace in me doing it not mine. So although its been hard needing help, God is showing me more of how much I am loved and showing me how to receive his love even though I don't deserve it. So thank you helpers and prayer warriors! We love you and pray God's blessings on your lives, and that God would level the mountains in your lives so you enjoy his grace and freedom.

Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit.  Zechariah 4:6

Luke's doing well. We are so grateful that he has been so healthy this winter so far. We went to the muscular dystrophy clinic in OKC this week and met some more great people that can help us to take the best care of Luke possible. We are also going to be attending a support group next week with other families. 

Jeremy and Livi went to visit Grandma and Papa in Pennsylvania earlier this month and had a blast.

Livi made some new friends, Libby and Reagan, while she was there. 

Grandma and Papa and Cassie (dressed-up)

Cousin Maddie

Here's the link to the website our friends started to raise money for a wheelchair accessible van for us. We are so blessed!

http://www.youcaring.com/help-a-neighbor/A-Van-for-the-Knapps/40112

These kiddos had a pretty sweet Christmas. 

Christmas morning! It was so much fun watching them open up gifts!

Ellie the elephant. 

Aerial dress up

Fraggle Rock puppet. Thanks Aunt Holly!

Swedish fish candy canes for Dad.

Jelly bean candy canes for Liv.

He loves Lightening McQueen

This is Livi's ladybug Dots.

New skirt from Grandma

This year Livi really got into Christmas. She knew presents were coming and she loved them all. Can't believe how big she's getting. She makes me laugh and also makes me crazy with her strong willed personality. The other day she said she figured out what she wants to be when she grow up. A mommy! So cute. She also said she thinks Luke would be a great daddy someday. When she said that I felt this deep sadness. But the thing is I don't know that he will or won't be a dad. Some people with SMA do become adults and parents. God's purpose and plan for his life is already very different than what I had imagined for him. The future is unknown, but I know anything is possible. We named him Luke because we loved the name and its meaning, bringer of light. I know that God will let his light shine through Luke. Already happening.

Hugging her new Barbie. 

Jesus's birthday cake

Happy birthday Jesus!

We had fun the other day at Woodward Park taking some cousin pictures. There's Graham, Livi, Luke, Kate, and Thomas who was just born in October.

Trying to get Luke to smile.

Nana and Pep with their grandchildren.

Livi thinks Kate is the coolest person in the world. She really looks up to her.

Luke is doing good, but has had a couple stomach bugs and has a little cold right now. Its been kind of exhausting since he's not sleeping well at night, but he's getting through it. We are really thankful to have the feeding tube since he doesn't eat much when he's sick, but still really needs the nutrition.

He's definitely a momma's boy. 

Livi loves her stuffed animals. I don't know where they all came from but they are all over the house. 

Cheese!

Livi's nativity set she got from her Grandma. 

 Strong arms! His brace helps him so much.

She doesn't leave home without a few animals.

Toot the flute! He gets so proud of himself when he plays this.

We have had a fun month enjoying Christmas activities. Going to the Nutcracker, the Christmas Train, making lots of cookies, and driving around looking at Christmas lights. Just enjoying being together. Its been a tough year but this season helps us to remember that we can have joy through it all because of the gift of Jesus. Merry Christmas!